Rendezvous

A Lyrical RENalysis by D.B. Myrrha, B.A., M.A.T, O.G., A.B.C., O.P.P.*

*Not a doctor

Hey, Renegades! Next in my series of Renalyses, may I present “Masochist” for your pleasure (especially if you find my puns painful.)

Intro

“Masochist” is a beautifully rich song which, on a first listen, may seem pretty straightforward (and violent), but actually has many layers. It’s certainly fun to listen to as you lie in bed next to your partner late at night, hoping that you won’t fall asleep and absorb it as a subliminal message. Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound of the police!

Ren’s four latest song drops, promised to fans as a reward for getting our boi to a million subscribers, have been quite a ride. The lyric videos are fabulous (although there seem to be a few printed lyrical mishaps, but honestly, who cares. It’s Ren!) and there are several overlapping themes and metaphors that carry through and weave into the entire Sick Boi tapestry. These are part of what makes these songs so fun to explore, tear apart, and inspect. So, without further carrying on, let’s whip this one out and chop it up!

Lyrics

[Intro]

Kill, kill
Kill, kill

Well, this is a lovely start. The title of the song comes under fire here as “kill, kill” doesn’t seem like the call of the masochist, who would be more likely to cry out “Please kill me slowly and devour my flesh (yum yum yum.)” However, we will soon see how this opening foreshadows a thematic twist in the lyrical flow. It does make it a fun to sing as you walk into work. (Personally, as a substitute teacher, I get a few nervous glances when I do so.)

Verse 1

Bar 1

Murder, murder, there’s a killer on the beat
Animal flow, a cannibal and it’s time to eat
Eenie, meenie, miney Mohammed – sting like a bee
Float like a butterfly and crucify the beat

Ren starts off with throwback references to two other songs on the album, “Murderer” and “ Animal Flow”. Although in “Murderer”, Ren insists his bullets are not metaphorical, he does kill the beat again and again. In “Animal Flow”, he refers to himself as a cannibal king (yum yum yum). It’s time for the beast to come out on this track.

Ren’s references to Ali are basically ubiquitous at this point, but he puts a nice spin on it here with “eeny, meeny, miney, Mohammed” before returning to the idea that he will “crucify the beat,” all the while remaining carefree about it, easy as a butterfly.

Here, Ren is the killer, the one with power and control. He doesn’t seem like a masochist in any way, rather he is finding pleasure in his position on top (so to speak. I’m not sure which role Ren prefers to play, and unlike some of you on Twitch, I won’t ask.)

There are a few interesting internal rhymes here to spice up the rather simplistic end rhyme (beat/eat/bee/beat.) Line one just repeats “murder” twice, so that’s kind of cheating, but the second line brings in “animal” and “cannibal” which add a bit more flavor (yum yum yum). The third line’s “eenie meenie” brings in a nice vowel alliteration with “bee,” while the near rhymes “butterfly” and “crucify” round out the verse.

Bar 2

Okay, let’s switch to role-play, I’ll be the court case, you be O.J.
Apply the pressure, right to the letter on the probate
My flow is cocaine, stacked by the K.G
Whoop-whoop, that’s the sound of the police

Alright, here we go. Ren is ready to switch it up. All this sadomasochistic role play is pretty exciting, don’t you think? We never know who or what is going to come next.

This first line took a few people by surprise, and it’s actually quite clever. In his murder trial, O.J. “killed it” with the help of some tricksy lawyers and not so wise prosecutors. Here, Ren decides that he will take the role of the loser in this battle. That’s more like a masochist, getting beaten by a killer who gets off.

Ren also tells us not to stop until the very last, as death is not complete until the will is read and probate completed; everyone gets what they deserve.

Still, he has to admit that his flow is intense: it’s cocaine, and lots of it. However, it also brings (perhaps unwanted) attention. The amount of attention given to an introvert who becomes well-known can feel masochistic for sure (we’ll discuss this more when we talk about “Lost All Faith”.)

Ren shouts out KRS One with his “whoop whoop, that’s the sound of the police…” I guess that’s the risk we take when we are a big fucking deal(er).

This section’s rhyme scheme is aa/bb (O.J./probate, KG/police) with the internal “role play” preceding “O.J.” In the first line, an internal (pressure/letter) in the second, “flow” echoed by “co-” in the third. Instead of an internal rhyme in the last line, we get the lovely onomatopoeia of “whoop, whoop.” The shout out then acts as a lead-in to the series of call backs that follow.

And this is where the reactors go nuts. Everyone knows NWA’s classic “Fuck the police/ coming straight from the underground” (“Straight Outta Compton”), But of course, it’s out of Brighton this time.

Bar 3

Fuck the police, coming straight out of Brighton town
Watch me run around with the supersonic ultrasound
I came to bring the pain and turn it back around
Hi, my name is…kill, I’m fucking up your town

In the video, Ren is shown in the position he took in the “Tales,” holding his guitar as a weapon like Richard, the police officer who strikes down Screech in the street. Ren refers to Screech as a masochist in “Illest of Our Time”, and Screech, the killer that he is, actually plays that role when he commits suicide by cop. Thus begins the expression of one of the deeper themes of this song: the ways we behave may hurt others, but they truly come from our own pain, and we are, in the process of inflicting pain, also hurting ourselves.

Ren also refers to himself as a masochist “kid with a split lip” in the song “Suicide.” When we hear this, we might think of those who deal with their pain by getting in fights, a deeply masochistic act, trying to supplant emotional pain with physical self-harm.

Some folks have suggested that the “supersonic ultrasound” is also related to Screech and the fact that he unwittingly harmed someone who could have had a different role in his life had circumstances been different. I’m more of the opinion that he’s aware of everything, and he fucking sees you, no matter where you might hide. He’s come to bring the pain (thank you, Method Man), but then he says he’s gonna turn it back around. Where does that direct it? At himself, of course.

Last shout out, of course, is to Eminem “Hi, my name is…” What? Kill. He’s fucking up your town. This boy is a real mess. Seriously.

The rhymes in this quatrain are simple. Both internal and external rhymes are “ou/ow” sound endings: out, town, around, ultrasound, around, town.

Bar 4

Murderer, murderer, third degree burns when I murder ya
Serving ya blood-curdling, carving into the curvature
Vertebra hurting ya, breaking your bones to make my furniture
Lurking and murking ya, certainly, body bag, burning ya

Okay, so he’s back in murderer mode, the main role he plays in many of the songs on Sick Boi, especially the ones that show his later thematic progression from physically/psychologically sick boy to pathologically sick boi.

And he’s a really fucking sick boi, and not metaphorically. He is going to carve you up and burn your body, he’s building his throne of bodies and bones, and you’re the first; it’s not going to be pretty or painless.

Still, how much of this pain reflects the excruciating pain Ren suffered in the past, and continues to battle today? Chronic illness doesn’t just go away, and sufferers tend to live with a higher level of daily pain than most of us could easily endure. When they hurt, they really fucking hurt. So what he’s dishing out, perhaps he’s suffering himself. If he’s truly a masochist, perhaps he’s his own victim.

Unlike the last lines, these have a beautifully complex rhyme scheme. I love how Ren slides here from simple to complex, loosening and tightening the lines to keep the flow compelling. The schwa, or unstressed vowel sound, is the star here. A schwa can be any vowel, but it’s pronounced pretty much like a really quick “uh” sound. So “murderer” has three schwa (u/e/e) I will emphasize the schwa below.

Murderer, murderer, third degree burns when I murder ya
Serving ya blood-curdling, carving into the curvature
Vertebra hurting ya, breaking your bones to make my furniture
Lurking and murking ya, certainly, body bag, burning ya

These sounds then feed into more obvious rhymes: murderer/ murder ya/ serving ya/ curvature/ vertebra/ hurting ya/ furniture/ murking ya/ burning ya. Murking is also rhymed with lurking and imperfectly with certainly, as is serving with curdling. It’s a fun bar, and a great example of Ren’s sophisticated wordplay, even when he’s not rapping super fast.

Chorus (x2)

Body bag, zip-zip, that’s the catalyst
Take the curve of the earth and I flatten it
Time bomb, tick-tick, boom, anarchist
Don’t trip, I’m a motherfucking masochist

This chorus is fire. Ren digitally manipulates his voice into a deep bass (a couple reactors actually thought it was Vik again, but they have totally different accents, people! ) Whomever asked (for a friend) if Ren could read us a bedtime story in that voice was definitely on the right track.

The catalyst of the Murderer’s rampage here is actually the sound of a body bag zipping. A death, a murder of some sort. Does it turn him into a masochist? If we harken back to Screech, it was his murder of Jenny and the hopelessness of the situation that made him run into gunfire. This isn’t the only time a body bag appears in the Sick Boi canon: there’s one mentioned in “Genesis” as well, where people die late in the dark, and he requests a license to kill himself, “call me Connery.”

Flattening the curve of the earth doesn’t have anything to do with being a flat-earther, silly reactors. I see it more like cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face. Damaging one’s world out of rage. Same with the time bomb. Violent anarchy utilizes destruction in an attempt to supposedly better the world. Why would he do this? Because he’s so angry and sick of his own pain he no longer gives a fuck.

Not long after the song came out, Ren posted the phrase made famous by Pablo Picasso: “Omnis creatio incipit actio interitus.” In English, “Every creation begins with an act of destruction.” In order to begin anew, the old must be destroyed.

Back to basics with internals and externals. The short “i” sound in zip, tick, and trip is also reflected in the last syllable of catalyst/ flatten it/ anarchist/ masochist. There are also the near rhyme internals curve/ earth and bomb/ boom.

Ren himself said he wrote this song when he was in some kind of mood. Sick of being sick. Sick of the selfish corruption in the music industry. Sick of the bullshit.

Later he was momentarily worried about the potential damage this song might do to his career re: losing some of his fan base, but at this point, he felt it was important to release anyway (plus his fan base looks a bit different than when he wrote this song two years ago, so a little dip isn’t going to kill him.) Speaking of killing…

Verse 2

All of these quatrains flow together so closely that they really need to be considered as a continuous flow, but I have to break it up for my sanity, so… I’ll save the rhyme analysis to the end, and focus on the metaphors here.

Bar 1

Kill the labels, kill the vultures, kill your greed, and kill Jehovah
Kill the broken infrastructure, kill your ego, kill your culture
Kill your masters, kill your maker, kill the dawning of creation
Kill your mother, kill your father, kill yourself, and kill your karma

Fresh listeners really started getting worried here. Ren’s off the rails! He’s murdering everyone! No one’s safe from his wrath! He’s telling us to kill! Hide the children!

Slow down, Tipper Gore.

[Note: This is a Gen X reference. Sorry not sorry.]

Yes, he is a bit cranky here, but let’s listen to what he’s saying. The first line seems to directly target the music industry. Not just the major label that had to drop him, but perhaps others who professed interest in furthering or guiding his career out of self- interest, and who manipulated him or let him down (he refers to this again later.) He’s sick of being in pain, both physical and emotional, and being used by people who want to commodify his gifts (see “Sick Boi.”) This sort of pressure can leave you doubting your faith, both in yourself and in so-called “superior beings.”

It’s time to tear down all the things that made you into the mess you have become. This verse targets those things that try to mold you into the person others/ society wants you to be: the industry that wants to exploit you, religious “morality” and harsh judgment (in one of his Twitch streams, Ren referred to the god of the Old Testament as “a bit dramatic”), the systems that fail you, your own ego, the culture of greed (see “Crucify Your Culture”), the very things that made you and have fixed expectations of what you should be or become, including yourself, and your karma, which supposedly dictates your fated existence. All these things limit you, imprison you, and have the potential to hurt you.

Bar 2

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill samsara, reincarnate, reach nirvana
Kill your lover, kill your partner, kill the ones that push you farther
Kill your idols, kill your gods, kill the prophets, kill them off and (kill)
Kill the one upon the cross

In this part, he shifts focus a bit into things that are actually supposed to help and heal. Samsara, the cycle of reincarnation in which we master lessons and eventually reach the release of nirvana ( and yeah, people mentioned that Kurt Cobain of Nirvana did kill himself, but in my mind that’s a double that is cool, but less relevant to the main thread.)

Your lover, your partner, your friends and mentors, those you look up to, the ones who advise you, unconditionally love you and/or are supposed to save you…kill those, too. We can see the masochist emerging, for who wants to kill off the good along with the bad unless they really want to suffer?

Here we see the potentially most controversial line in the song, “Kill the one upon the cross.” However, in the context of the rest of the verse, we can see that only a masochist would sabotage his own salvation.

Bar 3

Kill the butcher, kill the baker, kill the tinker, kill the tailor
Kill the soldier, kill the sailor, love thyself and kill thy neighbor
Kill the power, kill the lights, kill them in the dead of night
Kill these metaphors I write to all attachments in this life

Ren, now you’re just screwing with us. Kill ‘em all, okay? Kill everything, kill anything. But, oh wait…the last line. Okay. I get it now.

These bullets actually *are* metaphorical, and show the desire to cut away all the attachments that lead to deep suffering. This song is actually a Buddhist mantra. Beautiful.

Bar 4

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill
I’ve been hollow in my sorrow, swallow Morpheus’s pill
I can feel, body start to peel, I don’t feel real, for real
My mind is ill and it makes me wanna kill

Ren reiterates the desire to kill off the things that bring him pain. He’s suffered so much. Physically, psychologically, emotionally. He is dreaming, or is he waking up? Morpheus, of course, is the god of sleep and dreams, and then, of course, there is the Matrix reference, living in a state of unreality which is a lie, or reality, which is painful, but real.

Ren has reflected on not feeling real in his songs before, about his body and mind disintegrating or separating. About de-realization, unnatural feelings of being detached, about his skin feeling like silicon rubber. (See “Suicide”, “Sick Boi” and earlier songs such as “Diazepam”.) It’s obvious that he is fucking tired of it, and wants to lash out at the world, which to me seems completely rational, but I guess that’s why some of us are on meds.

Chorus (x2)

Okay, now that the chorus is playing, we can look at the poetry.

Kill the labels, kill the vultures, kill your greed, and kill Jehovah
Kill the broken infrastructure, kill your ego, kill your culture
Kill your masters, kill your maker, kill the dawning of creation
Kill your mother, kill your father, kill yourself, and kill your karma

The rhymes in section A provide us with an interesting rhythm again. In the first line, the word “vultures” actually rhymes with the last word in the second line, “culture.” That’s an interesting choice, as it leaves “Jehovah” unrhymed without a very tenuous stretch. “Infrastructure” is a near rhyme to “culture,” but it also seems weakened by the strength of vultures/ culture.

The second strongest rhyme in the first section would be father/ karma, which could provide a much better near-rhyme for Jehovah. What really drives the verse, of course, is the incessant repetition of the word “kill” which is, of course, the one thing first time listeners seem to take from the song.

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill samsara, reincarnate, reach nirvana
Kill your lover, kill your partner, kill the ones that push you farther
Kill your idols, kill your gods, kill the prophets, kill them off and (kill)
Kill the one upon the cross

So, after the obligatory kill, Ren jumps back to “karma” to rhyme samsara and nirvana. These also closely jibe with partner/ farther in the next line, with the “ah” sound repeating through all of them. In the last two lines, he shifts the “ah” to the middle of the word: gods/ proph(ets)/ off/ cross, which still keeps the musicality of alliteration even if the words don’t match perfectly.

Kill the butcher, kill the baker, kill the tinker, kill the tailor
Kill the soldier, kill the sailor, love thyself and kill thy neighbor
Kill the power, kill the lights, kill them in the dead of night
Kill these metaphors I write to all attachments in this life

Broken into quadruplets, 4 syllables ending in an “er” sound, the repetition of “kill” and the “-er” is a nursery rhyme rhythm, and we know how Ren loves his nursery rhymes.

“Tinker, tailor” is actually a popular British children’s counting- out rhyme (“Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief.”) The butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker were the original three men in a tub (gotta wonder if they ever did get it), so these rhymes naturally have a sing-song rhythm that lends itself to the lyrics perfectly.

In the last two lines, the rhythm changes a bit to just simple internal/external: lights/night, write/ life.

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill
I’ve been hollow in my sorrow, swallow Morpheus’s pill
I can feel, body start to peel, I don’t feel real, for real
My mind is ill and it makes me wanna kill

In case you haven’t noticed, kill rhymes with kill, and perhaps we won’t be shocked at this point that Ren says it five times in the first line. He does rhyme it, both exactly and inexactly, with pill, real, ill, and, you guessed it, kill. “Real” is also rhymed more suitably with feel, peel, feel, and real again in the third line. In the second line, hollow rhymes with sorrow and swallow, all an internal set of rhymes.

Verse 3

In this last verse, Ren hits us with the rhythmic changes and flow switches we love him for.

Bar 1

The host with the most the force of ten men
Rope on my throat I flow like ocean
Provoking a ghost, ferocious omen
Choking the Pope, how well you know Ren?

Ren claims to be “the host with the most.” This could be the hurting person masking his pain to seem strong (“the force of ten men”.) He has a rope on his throat, though. The noose of “Chalk Outlines” or “Pocket Full of Pain”? Or is it the one only hope can loosen in “Hi, Ren”? Is it the gallows Eden sings about in “Humble?” The image of the noose/gallows seems to represent Ren on the edge of falling into despair. He never quite trips the lever, but it only takes a second to make an irreversible decision. Despite the risk, though, he flows on…

He flows like ocean, he says. This could refer to the fact that his flows are powerful and always in motion, or perhaps he just goes with the flow. Later he talks about being a pacifist. Did his positive, easy going nature lead to this rebellion? Has it fed the strength that comes from rage? Who is the ghost that is provoked? What is the omen? Perhaps it is the ghost of his psychosis, a time when things were out of control and he was walking “hand in hand with Satan.” (“Hi, Ren”.) Perhaps the omen is that he’s being pushed too far once again and he’s on the brink of madness. It would be madness, indeed, that would drive a man to choke the Pope, a man millions see as the representative of God on earth.

Poetically, each of these lines rise and fall with a series of “o” sounds in each line. Lines one and four boast three each (host, most, force; choke, Pope, know), while the central lines have four (rope, throat, flow, ocean; provoke, ghost, ferocious, omen.) . Each line also ends with the –en sound (men, ocean, omen, Ren.) The rhythm mimics the rise and fall of the waves, reflecting the flow of the ocean mentioned above.

Bar 2

Could it be him? Could it be Ren? Could he be coming to kill it again?
Could it be real? Could he be back? Could he be ripping up another track?
Could it be? Nah, can’t be him! Could have been anybody, hmm
Nah, nah, nah, mate, I’m pretty sure that’s not him

How well do we know Ren? About a million of us have some form of parasocial relationship with him; we know him as well as we might know a stranger, helped along by his generosity of spirit and presence on social media. We know him through his personal videos, his Discord and Twitch streams, his old Instagram stories, and youthful blogs that are still floating around. Still, how well can anyone really know a public figure? Especially an avowed introvert who has suffered so much, for so many years, on his own?

I feel as if this verse, however, is not really directed towards his fans as much as it towards the music industry. When he was nineteen or so, Sony thought he could be something great, and they signed him. Soon after, he fell ill and had to give up his dream. He virtually disappeared for years. Then, finally, he and his music re-emerged. But did anyone remember him? Or did they just pretend they didn’t see him, looking the other way, figuring his time had passed? It certainly might have seemed that way when this song was written, before “Hi Ren” and his sudden, meteoric rise (after which they came scrambling, for sure. By then, though, Ren was all “New phone. Who dis?”)

Bar 3

Could it be possibly, probably, honestly, I’m in a muddle, it’s starting to bother me
Swallow my modesty, follow me, follow me, follow me down to the river and honor me
I’m an anomaly, I am an odyssey, climbing the property ladder monopoly
Full of philosophy, no one is stopping me, could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be?

It’s unsure at this point if Ren even knows himself. He seems confused, conflicted, not sure of where he’s going (quite possibly, if we’re remaining on topic, professionally.) It’s hard to be stuck, working so hard and not moving forward. Harder still when you are not an aggressive person (a perfectionist, yes. Driven, yes. But assertive? Perhaps not so much.) Perhaps it’s impostor syndrome. Perhaps it’s the pain of almost having his dream and it slipping from his grasp. Maybe it’s the thought that he missed his chance when his youth was lost to his sickness. But fuck it. He’s going to go for it, swallow his modesty and demand people’s attention, make them look at what he has to offer, climb that ladder (jump into the money game as we all do), earn praise for the music he’s fought so hard to create. Is it possible that he could still make it? Could it be time for Ren?

Of course it can, and it is. However, how was he to know when he wrote this song two years ago that his dream would soon come true?

Bar 4

Vim-vim-vroom, that’s the sound of a pacifist
Little misguided, turned to a masochist
Chilling with a chainsaw, chopping up your mattress
Forgive this blasphemous motherfucking masochist

At this point, though, he has no choice but to go for it. His pacifistic nature (read passive, naive, easily manipulated, “too nice”) has been twisted into masochism. He’s going to keep going no matter how many times he’s screwed over, no matter how often his dreams are trampled on. In fact fuck all y’all, he’s going for it full force, taking a chainsaw to tear the foundation out from under you. No one will be able to sleep on Ren any more (metaphorically.) Forgive him, because he’s rushing into the hail of bullets, regardless.

Ren is pushing forward, and damn the consequences. Of course, that proved to be a smart move in this case, because here we are.

Chorus (x2)

Body bag, zip-zip, that’s the catalyst
Take the curve of the Earth and I shatter it
Time bomb, tick-tick, boom, anarchist
Don’t trip, I’m a motherfucking masochist

The chorus takes us out (of the song, not literally) and leaves us feeling all kinds of things. Some are confused. Some are kind of shook. Some of us feel heard. Some of us are sympathetic. Some of us know how it feels when circumstances, or our own sensitive souls, have left us feeling bruised and defensive. Regardless of where we stand, Masochist is a banger, one of those songs when played loud can act as a cry into the world that we’re here, alive, and not afraid to fuck up this town if pushed one more millimeter, regardless of the personal repercussions.

Final Thoughts

This song, like the others in this last batch leading up to the album’s release, took a few go-arounds to really sink in and settle with us. It’s part of the beauty of Ren’s work that no two songs (unless they are purposefully set in a series) sound at all alike. Each one is unique, so we never know what to expect, and sometimes even the serial songs divert sharply from expectations (e.g. “Love Music pt. 4.)

So, “Masochist”, a song which seemed simplistic and violent on the surface, brought out mixed reactions in listeners. Some had a knee-jerk response to the subject matter. Some were hesitant to make a judgement on the first few hearings. Others loved it immediately for its unique sound and driving beat. I was firmly in the second camp, which is my usual stance, as I like to reserve a full opinion until I can dive into the complexities of a track over a day or so with quality headphones.

Now, however, I definitely have grown to love “Masochist”, not only for the bars and the beat, but for the complexities of meaning I’ve come to (rightfully) expect from any of Ren’s songs, especially from the “Sick Boi” tracks. I look forward delightedly to the further surprises to be discovered soon.

Until next time,
Oi, Renegades!

c.2023 D.B. Myrrha

More RENalyses: The Complete List